Star Lounge
Posted by: kediger on: March 22, 2009
A week or so ago Brad and I checked out Star Lounge in (supposedly) Humboldt Park. Yelp says this is in Humboldt Park, but based on the restaurants and shops surrounding the cafe, I would say it’s more like Wicker Park. We showed up at around 7:15 and realized the place closes at 8:00pm during the winter. Bummer.
It was still enough time for me to enjoy an agave latte and for Brad to claim their double espresso as the best he’s tried in Chicago so far. Woohoo! The atmosphere of this place is fantastic. There was a classical guitarist there, and Brad says classical guitar makes him “swoon” so bonus points there. There was a good amount of seating, and there’s a patio for warmer weather. There were also some books and a few games. We pulled out Skip-Bo and tried to learn how to play. Once we finally got it, it was time to leave.
So, the drinks. My latte was very strong. The milk was wonderful: thick and foamy but not so much to make the latte “light.” I probably shouldn’t have drunk such a caffeinated drink so late in the day but I couldn’t help myself. The agave gives it a unique flavor. I probably could have used a little bit more sweetness. Next time, I might see if they can add a bit more agave. Brad also got a pound of their roasted Sumatra beans and he says that they are also the best beans he’s gotten in Chicago so far.
Star Lounge: we’ll be back. Soon.
Mexican Food
Posted by: kediger on: March 22, 2009
Lately I’ve totally been craving Mexican food. Last weekend Brad and I were walking around Logan Square because we had taken the car into the shop. Since I had skipped breakfast, I originally wanted to go to Cozy Corner, which is one of my favorite diner joints (there’s one near our place and one by the Milwaukee blue line stop). But Cozy Corner was swamped with hipster kids coming down from hangovers. So we spotted Taqueria Moran across the street, chcekced in on Yelp (yay iPhone), and decided to give it a shot…Seriously, my new favorite Mexican place in Chicago.
The inside is small but really cute! Awesome chips and salsa. I had the carne asada tacos, and even thought I usually don’t like corn tortillas, these were fabulous! We also got the guacamole and that was AMAZING! Very, very fresh. There were lots of onions, which was different from the usually guacamole I have but seriously: so. so. so. good. We will definitely be back to this place again.
Yesterday the weather was so nice. We spent a lot of the day out and about and I didn’t feel like making dinner, so we took a nice long walk to El Pacifico. We had been hear once before and I didn’t feel like trying out a new place. There are lots of taquerias in our little Latino neighborhood but sometimes it’s risky business trying someplace new. El Pacifico is pretty reliable. Their guac is not nearly as good as Moran’s but they have great carne asada and good portions. Their prices are a little high for the quality of the food but we’ll probably come back because it’s so close.
Other Mexican places nearby we need to try:
Fonda Del Mar: I keep hearing great things about this place.
Taqueria Ricardo: Very close to us. Sounds like a cheap place with good food…I miss our old Taqueria like this in Arkansas.
Carniceria Jimenez: This is a grocery story we’ve been to before but apparently they have amazing and cheap guacamole. Plus, I didn’t realize they had a panderia. I’ve been looking for a good panderia nearby.
Darkness
Posted by: kediger on: March 18, 2009
Yesterday I felt the overwhelming presence of hopelessness that “my kids” experience. Everyday our kids are throwing up gang signs, responding instinctively with hurtful comebacks, hitting, pushing, exploding with anger, or bursting out in tears. For so long I have been trying to get my bearings and “handle” all these kids that I don’t think I ever realized how very deeply wounded many of them are inside. And some of them don’t even realize that while they are glorifying gangs and sex and thug life, they are sinking deeper and deeper into evil.
I tend to shy away from talking about the devil and evil because sometimes I think it is too easy to blame our bad circumstances on an outside force, but in the case of 1st graders throwing up gang signs or 3rd graders speaking degradingly of women’s bodies, I just can’t help but sense the extreme darkness of the environment they are living in.
It hurts me to think about.
In some ways I am glad that I hurt for these little ones. I desperately do not want them to have to deal with gangs, drugs, or abuse at such an early age. And I certainly agree that God has called me to enter into their suffering. But there is also a point at which compassion becomes incapacitating, where I am “more keenly aware of all that is wrong with the world than of all that is right with our all-powerful God” (Kristyn Komarnicki, ESA epistle, 3.18.09).
I believe that these words from Gary Haugen of International Justice Mission where exactly what I needed to hear this morning:
“The victims of injustice in our world do not need our spasm of passion; they need our long obedience in the same direction. They need our legs and lungs of endurance; and we need sturdy stores of joy. We cannot ache and sweat through history’s long arc of justice without clutching life-giving stores of beauty, laughter, goodness, love and light, without snatching delicious naps in the cool grassy spots, and without late night fires with friends who make us flush and ache with laughter. To carelessly ditch the cool canteen of joy in the name of a severe urgency is to misunderstand the expedition and to render one’s self useless in the fight against aggressive evil.
“The grim, sophisticated, self-serious activist finds himself angry and spent and exceedingly bad company. For while it is heartless and lazy to pretend that the pitiless suffering, slaughter, and waste of our world is not real and true, it is indulgent and false to believe it is the whole truth in this world or the next—for it is not. To lose this faith is to lose sight of what makes evil evil and our fight worth fighting. Moreover, as wizened and weathered veterans have observed, nearly once every day the Divine struggle for justice should make us laugh—for the juxtaposition of the grandness and glory of the calling with the quality of his recruits is sure evidence of a comic heart within the Sovereign.”
Today, I want to look to God the Father and everything good that is in Him. Because the gospel is a message of hope to the hurting world. It is a message of joy and peace and love to everyone. And if I am going to carry it out in Englewood, that means I need to soak it up and spend more time enjoying the gospel, enjoying a connection with God that no darkness can break.
An AWESOME Day
Posted by: kediger on: March 13, 2009
So often I go home thinking, “Well, I survived today. There’s plenty I could do better for tomorrow.” But yesterday I went home thinking, “That was AWESOME! Everyday should be like this!”
I think I had something like 6-7 volunteers in my class yesterday so there was someone at each table and 2 floaters who helped with extra homework and played games with the kids who were finished. Oh, and 2 of the volunteers were my parents so that was great. My mom usually comes every Thursday anyway but my dad had the week off so he helped the kids with their homework too:
It’s still a bit chaotic with this many kids but I loved that they all got a ton of individual attention yesterday! And I recently got some new games and puzzles for the kids who finish their homework. They love this magnetic shape board!
We are starting a new program called Super Readers. We count every time they read a book and fill out a little book report. Once a student has read 5 books he gets a prize and our goal as a team is to read 200 books by the end of May. So during our reading class, I had them spread out with a volunteer and read and work on book reports. We added 17 read books to our list by the end of the day.
Last but not least, I started a gardening elective a week ago. I was a little worried about what we would do but so far it’s been a blast – a bit of a messy blast, but a blast nonetheless. Since we have been having large groups of volunteers come, I have been have 3 or so guys work on “tilling” the soil. It’s starting to look like actual soil and we have more groups coming next week so it will only get better. Yesterday, I had the kids go out to the lot and start picking up trash and rocks and sticks. They mostly enjoyed picking up rocks but it was fun to see them enjoy digging in the dirt so much. They’re going to love it when we have actual plants to care for.
A few of them found worms, and that was the most exciting part of the day for them. I was able to explain how worms are really good for the soil, so after touching and squealing over the worms, they were “carefully” put back into the soil (I’m not sure if they were still alive but the kids were trying to be careful). 
Thanks
Posted by: kediger on: March 12, 2009
I just wanted to thank all the people who prayed for me today. I really felt like your prayers made all the difference today. Yesterday was rough and was tossing and turning all night trying to think of ways to better help my kids. When I woke up this morning I was stressed and exhausted. Today was set to be a super long day: my usual 10-hour day on Wednesday with work in the mornings and then my 19 little ones from 2 to 7. After that when I usually go home, I had a scheduled visit with a parent to enroll a set of twins.
Driving to work, I didn’t know if I would last through 11 hours of work, especially dealing with the kiddos. But by 11:00 this morning I felt energized and more patient than I usually am. I had 6 volunteers in my class today working one-on-one with students. It was the most awesome thing ever (considering that usually it’s just me and my assistant leader)!! There were still lots of discipline issues and kinks to work out in my classroom management. But I really feel like your prayers sustained me and it was only God giving me strength.
We’re getting there.
(Oh and I could still use your prayers. I did enroll the twins tonight so starting next Tuesday I’ll have 21 kids. One more to go and then I am DONE!)
Overloaded
Posted by: kediger on: March 11, 2009
As of right now there are 19 kids on my team.
19 kids who are failing in school, who hardly ever focus, who think that hitting someone is the best way to solve a problem, who are love-starved, who desperately need one-on-one attention, who are holding a lot of hurt inside, who have creative ideas but don’t know how to express them, who can be happy one minute and furiously angry the next.
I’d like to see Michelle Duggar handle my kids.
Yesterday was the first day with what I would call an overwhelming number of little bodies. I started with 8 kids in October, went up to 12 for awhile, then stayed with 14 for at least 6 weeks or so. Now, all of a sudden, I have 5 new little people. I’m enrolling 2 more tonight (twins. yippee. please sense my excitement.) and will probably get my 22nd and final (yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!) child this week or next.
One of the initial problems is that none of the new kids really know the rules/consequences so they are either in that confused-I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing phase or they’ve moved a little beyond that into the let’s-test-and-see-if-this-lady-is-serious-about-the-rules phase. Either way, it’s taking everything out of me to try to remain positive and encouraging rather than just start yelling at them all.
I felt like the day actually went really (relatively) well until dinner time. A few of the boys just had melt-downs. One little boy got into a fight with a boy on another team and W, my biggest challenge right now, just lost all control: would not stay in his seat, hit another kid on the way to the bus, and then was flicking people off on the bus (hitting and the finger are huge NO NOs in my book). The bus was almost a disaster. I think we’re all just exhausted by the time we get to the bus. Myself and the two co-workers on the bus have mostly used up all our patience, and try as we might, there’s a lot of yelling and frustration with the 50 or so kids who are so squirrelly from a very full day.
Bleh. I just feel that by 6:00 my energy is gone. I’ve never been a night person (and night starts at 5:30 or 6:00 for me) and so all the time with the kids after that point is just me running on fumes. I know that it must be God who is keeping me going in the evenings because it’s certainly not any strength that I have. I’m just hoping that I can find my rhythm to manage all these kids. I can’t seem to stop thinking about how to deal with the different issues that are arising – even when I am sleeping, these 19 children consume my mind. Right now I seriously need God’s rest.
Honestly
Posted by: kediger on: March 9, 2009
I haven’t posted in awhile because, frankly, it hasn’t even crossed my mind. My job at By The Hand has been completely and utterly draining this past month or so and things are only now starting to calm down. My job is very. very. hard. I only spend about 15 hours a week with the kids, but on top of that, every month I have to meet with each parent and each teacher of all of my now 19 (soon to be 22) students. There are also a lot of planning/organizational/meeting things that have to take place every week. Some days I am so overwhelmed I don’t even know where to begin. A few weeks ago I started crying in the middle of a staff meeting because I didn’t know how I would make it through the day.
Some days I see great progress in the kids but some days I feel like I don’t know what I am doing. There are times I get so angry and stressed that I just want to run out of the room screaming, but I can’t because I have 15 or 16 or 17 or more little bodies that I am in charge of. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays I am so drained at the end of the day that sometimes I call Brad or my mom on the way home. That way I have someone to talk to and I won’t fall asleep at the wheel. When I walk through the door I usually have only enough energy to change into pajamas and crawl into bed.
I haven’t had a lot of time to do things I enjoy, like cooking and knitting. At home I am trying to just keep up with the cleaning and making sure there are dinners in the crockpot.
Some of this comes from my own difficulty with leaving work at work, and some of it stems from the pressures of the job. I am thankful for my job and I am thankful that I work in Englewood. I love my kids and my co-workers. I never expected this job to be easy. There are a lot of hurting kids, and those kids just stay in my heart and mind. There is a lot of sin that comes along with poverty and so many days when that sin makes me so angry.
These are just a few of the more difficult thoughts that have been rolling around in my head lately. I want to be honest about the good and the bad, so hopefully being honest about my frustrations and struggles will help me to be a better teacher/friend/minister to these children God has entrusted me with.
Ice Skating
Posted by: kediger on: March 9, 2009
A few weeks ago we took some of the kids ice skating. These were the kids that earned all A’s, B’s, and C’s on their report cards. As you can see, they had a blast! For a lot of them, it was their first time ice skating.
Peacemaker
Posted by: kediger on: February 18, 2009
Yesterday on the bus, I saw one of my little ones hit another kid. Hitting earns someone an automatic suspension (called a Time Out) for the next day. Here’s how that discussion went:
Me: J, do you know what this means?
J: It means I can’t come tomorrow.
Me: (after bringing J into a different bus seat with me) Do you remember when we talked about being a peacemaker last week? What does it mean to be a peacemaker?
J: It means you don’t hit anybody.
Me: That’s right. That’s a very hard thing but Jesus told us that we need to be peacemakers and not hit anybody even if we are mad at them.
(After talking about this for awhile, and what you should do if someone hits you first, we got to this part.)
Me: J, I’m going to give you another chance and you can come tomorrow but I want you to be a peacemaker all day tomorrow. That means you don’t hit anybody or say anything bad about anybody. Can you do that?
J: (nods head seriously)
Me: And why do you think I’m giving you another chance?
J: (thinks about it for a long time) Because…because you want me to be a peacemaker.
Let’s Talk about Race
Posted by: kediger on: February 18, 2009
- In: race
- Leave a Comment
Sunday afternoon my church showed a part of a documentary series called Eyes on the Prize. In between some of the clips I listened in on a discussion on race and reconciliation. I say “listened in” because I didn’t really feel like I had any insights to add. Also, I have never been involved in a racial discussion and also never really had any black friends (either growing up or recently) to discuss these things with. Only recently since I began working in an African-American neighborhood and alongside black co-workers, have I been a witness to what’s going on in the African-American community. So, mostly I just wanted to listen and learn from these brothers and sisters in Christ. It was a very good experience for me. I was grateful that everyone was able to be open and honest in that environment.
It’s hard for me now to even put in words what I think about race and reconciliation. I am thankful for my church, where there are people of all different backgrounds and races. I am thankful that I get exposure to a different group of people at my job. I am thankful that we are teaching the kids about black history during this month, and I am thankful that I am learning right along with them.
I realize that I have a long way to go. I want to watch the rest of Eyes on the Prize and read more about black and African history. I realize that I have had and sometimes still feel that “just get over it” attitude towards racial injustice, and that is not right. I hope that I can help create and environment for the people around me where they are free to be themselves and portray their culture while working together as a team and really listening to each other. Hearing about all the injustice and racism of the past, and that still takes place today, makes me realize that only God can accomplish such a task. And it should be in His church where we are working the hardest at reconciliation.
